In July 2010 I quit smoking cigarettes because of the hell I saw my boyfriend going through with his asthma.  It was hard for me to quit but once I got past a certain point I no longer craved the smoke.  I did this because I wanted to be supportive of my boyfriend.  I had tried to quit multiple times before and it never worked.  I have had my own health scares and I still did not quit.  The fact that is was so easy for me to quit for someone else highlights my values.  I value teamwork, willpower and most important honesty.  I quit so that he wouldn’t have to go through the process alone.  I quit so that we would be able to talk about the challenges and obstacles‘.  (The topic may be cigarettes but this goes for other situations as well) I’ve found out that he has had a harder time abstaining than I thought.  I am immediately hurt by this because I feel as though I have done something wrong.  I must have for him to feel he couldn’t tell me or talk to me right? I’ve talked to him about this before, but somehow I continue to find out instances where he didn’t come to me.  I now realize my ability to quit without an issue may make him feel like he can’t relate.  Which is the opposite of what I am trying to accomplish.  My mother always told me to not sweat the small stuff, but I can’t help but feel like a failure.  I embarked on a mission to create an even stronger bond of teamwork than we alright have and I feel like I have done the opposite.  I need some advice. 

I really miss my old Xanga name.  I know it's not being used because I've searched it.  When I decided to come back to Xanga I tried to sign up under my old name and it told me that it was already in use.  I am really unhappy with my current screen name but I've been using it for a few years now and don't want to just close down my site.  Hopefully I'll be able to change it back to my old username. 
Shades of grey doesn't suit me anymore.  When I created this account I was unhappy with my life and I saw my existence as a colorless rainbow.  Hence.. shades of grey.  My life doesn't blur together like that anymore.  There is a bold line between happiness and my life before it. 
My point is.  My old, favored screen name suits me much better than the one I am using right now.  I cannot wait to change it.